“Son, your ego is writing cheques your body can’t cash.”

Those enduring words from Captain Tom ‘Stinger’ Jordan in Top Gun serve as timely advice for John Stanley, whose new toy doubles as a one-way ticket to the emergency department.

Earlier this week, listener Jim from Footscray phoned John to tell him a shiny silver Pogo stick was for sale at a Cash Converters in Yarraville. One owner, plenty of bounce left in the springs, only ridden to church on Sundays. All that Pogo is yours to keep for the princely sum of $16.

You buy it, you break it, to flip a retail phrase while thinking of John’s poor spine.

Skateboards. Scooters. Trampolines. Pogo sticks. Fun when you’re in primary school, but sure to lower your life expectancy if used when longer in the tooth, a fact emergency medicine expert Professor Gordian Fulde will attest to.

So how old is too old to ride a Pogo stick?

You tell us, John Stanley.